I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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