Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
