Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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