Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
