I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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