dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
