The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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