Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I party with great urgency now.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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