she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
