I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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