someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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