not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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