lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I love how my cats smell like pot.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
