Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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