he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
