Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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