Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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