WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
