I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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