she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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