you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think I sprained my soul last night
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
