capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Vodka?
Forever.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
