Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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