I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut