She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.