This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.