he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
