but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
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Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
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So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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