Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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