Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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