id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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