I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
