Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
