it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
