Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My ass is underappreciated
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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