You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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