so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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