I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
