I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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