I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
