i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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