hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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