I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
