Is it because I queefed?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
