i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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