Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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