Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
