I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize