Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
