don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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