I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I seem to have left my pride at pride
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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