sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
