there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
