I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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