Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize