i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
